Path

Alright…I’ve had a lot of depressing posts in a row.  Sorry about that.  I keep sitting down and trying to write something happy and mostly failing miserably. I’ve decided this is because when you try to write about happiness, you need to actually be happy.  Which im not exactly perfect at.  Anyway. Yesterday, a friend of mine was miserable and sobbing.  If you missed this part before…I’m not good at people.  Or  physical contact.  Or, for that matter, people being miserable.  Anyway, I went over and sat down next to her to make sure she was OK.  Which she wasn’t really.  I was pretty close to walking away since I as I said before am really awkward around people who are miserable.  But I know how horrible it is to be alone and in pain.  So I didn’t walk away.  I helped her.

Sorry that wasn’t supposed to get sad.  Anyway, shortly after this yesterday I realized that, for me, that was good.  For me…that was progress.  Little steps.  I know for most people in the world that would be second nature. But it isn’t for me. For me that is hard.  So for me I made progress yesterday.  I think of it like walking down a road.  Your goal is obviously to make progress down the road. When something happens that pushes you or makes it harder, you move down the road.  However, when you lose progress on something or something negatively impacts you, you move backwards. But in my head anyway it’s not one path. It’s many. I reach the end of one and it leads to more, junctions and branches of futures. If this makes zero sense I’m sorry.  Basically, with how school has been going, I’ve been moving back a lot recently. So it felt good to move forward for once it really did.  I needed it.  Badly.

So…this might not exactly be happy.  But I cant write about butterflies or whatever is supposedly happy.  This is about as close as I can get.  So…yeah.  Thanks for reading everyone.

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